18 May 2019: Sybrand’s Pondering Pronouncement on Prolific Potholes

Heading north in the direction of Muxima and the DRC, I had ample time and reason to construct “Sybrand’s Pondering Pronouncement on Prolific Potholes”.

Muxima

Firstly, there are no birds in potholes. This is one of the profound conclusions of my study of Angolan potholes. One may find various other things in potholes, such as beer bottles and empty cooldrink tins; but mostly you find nuts and bolts, car parts, or an odd wheel or two.

A Zambian farmer once told me about a strange apparition he had found in a pothole. He said that during the bad old days you approached a large pothole with the utmost of vigilance, as it could be a landmine hole made by a calling card of the Rhodesian SAS. Experience had taught the Zambians that landmines very rarely slept alone, and that there may be more calling cards nearby. Some way down the road the farmer saw two small antenna-like devices just sticking out above the tarmac. Approaching very cautiously, a closer inspection revealed a donkey standing in a pothole, with just the tip of its ears reaching the road surface. The Angolan potholes, while not as large as some of the Zambian potholes, were deep enough to rip the wheels off a truck, or conceal a miniature donkey.

My second profound conclusion is that potholes and landmines have much in common. Both are concealed menaces and ambush the unsuspecting traveller. Both remain inert until trampled upon, and then they react with the utmost of violence.

My most profound conclusion on prolific potholes is that it is always the third pothole that gets you. This is exemplary military strategy. You use the terrain and channel your enemy into a prepared killing zone. The first pothole gets your attention, and you start to take evasive action. Then, behind the first pothole, a second, larger pothole appears. It is larger than the first, because drivers who managed to evade the first pothole more frequently slam into the second – the more vehicles they gobble, the larger they grow. But, being an expert pothole evader by this time, one turns smartly into the gap between the two potholes, right into the teeth of a massive, pugnacious pothole lying in ambush. It is always the third pothole that gets you!